James's an idiot, Remus facepalms
by Nixor123
Summary: James requires Remus' help, as usual. Only this time it's nit with homework.


**AN: I do not own anything**

 **So for this round we had to choose two characters (I chose James Potter and Remus Lupin) and write the given theme  
Mine was platonic friendship**

 **Also**

 **I will be taking all 5 prompts this round because our beater 2 is a bit….nonexistent at the moment**

 **Prompts are: (scenario) a quidditch accident, (word) name, (dialogue) "I've forgotten what it's like to feel young.", (phrase) A man is known by the company he keeps, (object) blouse**

 **As everyone's favorite plumber would say: Here we goooooo!**

* * *

Remus Lupin was walking towards the Quidditch changing rooms. Gryffindors had just defeated Hufflepuffs and he wanted to congratulate James on his wonderful catching of the Snitch. As he approached, he saw James walking out of the changing rooms and walked to him.

"Nice catch, Prongs. Surprised you managed to actually look at the Snitch, seeing as the Hufflepuff Seeker was a girl," he teased him.

"Ha-ha-ha. Very funny, Moony. I'll have you know, I am able to focus on three round things at once, if you know what I mean," James responded, smirking.

Remus tried his best not to facepalm. "Sadly, I always do."

James continued grinning as they entered the courtyard. Then his smile was replaced by confusion.

"Wait, where's Sirius?"

Remus stared at him.

"What do you mean where is he? He's in the hospital wing, remember?"

"Oh, right." James responded.

"Well he could've at least come to say hi."

"James, his leg is broken. What was he supposed to do, hop here?"

"Hey, I'm not gonna tell him how to do his travelling."

This time, Remus actually did facepalm. "Merlin's beard, you're an idiot. Well, anyway, Peter said he couldn't make it since he'd rather visit Sirius than watch you make a flying fool of yourself."

"Hey!" James raised his voice, obviously offended. "What do you mean by that?"

"What I mean is you carrying your Chaser bridal-style to the bench after she fell of her broom." Remus said in a matter-of-fact kind of voice.

James gasped and held his hand to his chest, clearly over exaggerating.

"Remus John Lupin! How dare you? You know, she could have been seriously injured. I happen to take Quidditch accidents very seriously."

Remus rolled his eyes.

"Unlike literally anything else."

James stuck his tongue out at him.

"Well Remus, if you're so bothered by my behaviour, you are free to stop being around me at any time. Aren't you the one who said 'A man is defined by the company he keeps'? You wouldn't want the teachers to think you fell into the wrong crowd."

"Oh, so that's why you hang out with me so much. You hope that'll make you look smarter than you actually are." Remus quickly returned the tease.

James burst into laughter.

"Okay, that was a good one. Oh, it's been awhile since we teased each other like this. I've forgotten what it feels like to be young."

Once again, it was Remus' turn to stare at him in disbelief.

"James, you're 15. You still are young."

"Shhh. Do not ruin my deep thoughts."

"Oh, sorry. I didn't know you were capable of those."

James suddenly went silent. He looked as if he was thinking about something. Remus was getting kind of worried. Usually James was never this quiet for this long.

"Hey, Remus. You're pretty smart, right? I need advice."

Remus looked at him, confused. James rarely asked for his advice and even rarely listened to it.

"What is it?"

James cleared his throat.

"Well, there's this girl. And —"

"Alright, I'm gonna stop you right there. Even if I knew anything about girls, which I do not, I do not want to help you ask out yet another girl whose name you'll forget in the next week." He remembered all too well all of James' escapades with girls and he vowed that he would not be a part of it.

"But I actually will remember this one's name! I promise! Please." James pleaded, stretching the word 'Please' as long as he could.

Remus looked at him. Something seemed different that when James usually started 'targeting a girl'. He seemed more serious this time. He sighed heavily. As if he could not help him. James would just annoy him until he agreed to it anyway.

"Fine. I'll try, but I promise nothing. Now, who is she?"

James gulped.

"Well she is, sort of, Lily Evans."

Remus blankly stared at him for a few long moments before talking.

" Okay, okay. That's nice. However, since you wanted my advice, I see several problems in that plan, and pretty much eighty percent of them revolve around the fact that she despises you."

James rolled his eyes.

"I know that! That's why I have no idea what to do!"

"Wait, how did it even come to this?"

Remus asked, still trying to process the fact.

"I don't bloody know! It just… did, I guess. I mean, the other day I saw her in some new blouse and I thought 'wow, she looks amazing' and—"

Remus finally put the pieces together.

"Holy Moly, you're in love. Oh this is pure gold. Just wait till the entire school hears about this. James Potter and Lily Evans."

"Hey, I am not in love!" James yelled.

"Oh how would you know? You never felt anything that's not 'hungry' or 'horny' anyway. Also, what are you gonna do about Snivellus?"

"What about him?"

"Well he also has a thing for her, right? And as your relationship stands right now, he has better chances than you."

James suddenly grabbed his shoulders and faced him.

"Please, Remus. I do not know what to do at all."

"Don't worry, you oaf. I'll help you in any way that I can. But now we have more important matter to deal with."

James stared at him, confused.

"What?"

"Telling Sirius and Peter all about this." Remus said quickly as he started running up the stairs and away from James.

James quickly started going after him.

"Get back here, you daft bastard or I'll make you!"

* * *

 **Thanks for reading!**

 **See ya!**


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